Stop People Pleasing and Live for YOU

Stop People Pleasing and Live for YOU

Juniper shares her journey of embracing uniqueness, setting boundaries, and celebrating life authentically, showing the world the power of living in alignment with your values. Encouraging rebalancing your gut bacteria to find internal contentment, clarity, and inspiration as you navigate life gracefully and beautifully without the noise of people-pleasing.

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Welcome to Follow Your Gut. Today we are talking people please and living for YOU. It is so common that we find ourselves caught in the whirlwind of people pleasing, especially during holiday and birthday celebrations. Society has conditioned us to believe that extravagant gifts, indulgent foods, and elaborate parties are the norm. It's time to break free from this mold, though, and reclaim our power to define what truly matters to us and our families. In this episode, I hope to inspire you to stop people pleasing, embrace your values and boundaries, celebrate life, and show up day to day in a way that aligns with your life visions. August is a lively and eventful month for my family. Within the span of just one week, we celebrate my husband's birthday, our daughter's birthday and our anniversary. Additionally, this year, we are back in Montana to support and love on my dad, who is undergoing intense neck surgery. It is a whirlwind of emotional highs and lows, but amidst all the chaos, there is so much to cherish. And it's a whole lot easier because I am dead set committed to showing up for all of it. In alignment with our family values, I wanted to share this part of our journey with you as we navigate this busy month while staying true to ourselves and maintaining our energy. Birthdays in particular often lead us to compromise our values in order to please others to fit in. However, as a family we have found ways to approach celebrations and life in general so differently. So let's dive in and chat about different ways to honor ourselves during these occasions and in day to day life without succumbing to the people pleasing tendencies that inevitably end up sabotaging our own well being and the well being of our families.

In my opinion, birthdays are special occasions that should be meaningful and deeply personal. Your birthday is the day that your mother birthed you into this world. This is significant. Your children's birthdays are the day that you birthed them earthside. We get so distracted by what celebration should look like externally that we so easily lose touch with what birthdays actually are. They provide an opportunity for introspection, gratitude and reflection on the journey of life. But it's so easy to get carried away with external expectations and societal pressures. It is okay to be different, to slow down, to embrace your unique values and boundaries. But how do you do this? In our family, we have found the joy of creating our own rituals for birthdays and every aspect of our life, really? So I want to share with you. I'm not sharing to imprint my family's values on you. I'm sharing to inspire you to become so boldly, confident in your values that you don't compromise on them in order to fit in. Our birthdays are treated as sacred days reserved for intimate family gatherings that allow us to connect and bond without distractions. We do have birthday parties for our children if they desire, but they are never on our children's actual birthday. It's always the weekend after or the week after. And these celebrations are intimate. We are sharing this sacred celebration with friends and family who intimately, deeply care and accept us. We don't have these massive parties where we invite everybody we know. In our family. We consider our birthdays to be very sacred and we treat them that way, far beyond breastfeeding.

As mothers, we are instinctively called to nourish our families. Food is at the heart and center of my family's home. On a daily basis, we create and connect over meals. So naturally, this is the center focus of our birthday celebrations. Instead of storebought treats or premade cakes, we nurture the art of homemade magic. The part of our birthday celebrations that excite my children the most is that they get to create the menu plan for their entire birthday. Their favorite breakfast, lunch, snacks, dinner and dessert. We go all out. We go grocery shopping together and make every part so special. Everything falls within our commitment to our family's gut, nurturing lifestyle. Because here's the thing when you are dead set committed, anything is possible. You can do anything and make it happen. Just about everything. Every recipe can be recreated to be gut nurturing. By doing this, we not only celebrate our special days in a soulful and instinctual way, but we also teach our children the value of living in alignment. This practice reinforces the message that celebrations and our day to day life can be both delightful and mind full at the same time. I'm focusing on birthdays here, but we implement this in all areas of our life. For example, our nine year old son participated in a skateboarding camp last month and our twelve year old daughter in a horse rescuing camp. Both camps provided all the food, but we chose to pack our own. Our family's commitment to plant based, non GMO, wheat free and organic living means that we always show up prepared. Again, I'm not saying that my values need to be your values, not by any stretch of the imagination. But start thinking about it. Start getting in touch with what matters most to you, what you intuitively know is right for your family and make it a family value. We are never waiting to see if something will work out. We make it work before we ever even arrive. And we do this by owning our values. We make it fun by including our children. We let them plan their dream lunches and we pack their favorite meal and their snacks to their camps or wherever they're going so that they are so excited that they don't even care what anyone else around them is doing or eating. They are so in their zone. And here's the other part when we as mothers are very clear and confident with our values and we include our family, it becomes a family endeavor. My passions and my values are shared by my children. They are equally passionate and committed to our family value use. They know why. They understand the intricacies behind why we live so mindfully and intentionally, and they are proud of it. So they are not concerned that they are missing out.

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Now, what about other people's birthday parties? I don't want my child eating all that crap with artificial dyes and high fructose corn syrup and GMOs. But what do you do? I don't want them to miss out. Or I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings. It's simple, without any judgment here, that question comes from a place of fear. You are fearing that your child is going to miss out. You are fearing that you are going to hurt someone else's feelings. When we operate from fear, we fail. When instead we show up with clarity and confidence, we become unstoppable. Our children become unstoppable. Get clear on your values and make decisions from there, not from that place of fear. Some people's values are to let go sometimes, and this is so beautiful. But in our family we thrive best when we are consistent and we hold tight to our values all the time. So we bring our own food everywhere we go, including of people's parties or holiday celebrations or whatever activity, whatever is happening, camp, you name it. Again, my children never feel like they are missing out because our own thing excites them so much. They are so passionate and equally dead set committed to our family values that they don't care what is going on around them. They are excited to do their own thing. Or if maybe there is something happening at a birthday party, like maybe a pizza looks really good. They're comfortable communicating the desire for a pizza with me because we use that desire as an inspiration and an opportunity to create our own family fun, to go home and make a pizza that aligns with our values.

The last part of this you can live your values with pride. You can share with others why you live the way you do without it being negative in any way. To be real with you, no one cares that you bring your own food, your mind trying to trick you, that it will hurt someone's feelings, or try to talk you out of it for whatever reason, that someone will miss out or someone's feelings will be hurt, or somebody will be offended. That is your own cycle of self sabotage. You have permission to be you and to honor what is important to you without it meaning anything negative for anyone else. If anyone is interpreting your life choices, your values, negatively on themselves, that's a time to evaluate that relationship and people who genuinely care about you will celebrate the heck out of you being so committed and confident in living your values. As far as gifts go, we live in a world that circles around material possessions in our family. We choose to prioritize experiences and relationships over things. I do believe in the love language of gift giving and receiving, and one of my top priorities in motherhood is nurturing sibling bonds and friendships. So the way we do it in our family is each child gives their birthday sibling either a handmade or a thoughtfully purchased gift. They hand make the wrapping paper and the card. And this might sound extravagant, but it's simple. It's just paper that they have thoughtfully colored or painted and taped around a gift. That might be a good way, actually, to describe our focus when it comes to gifts. Thoughtful, over, extravagant.

Now, when one of my children, when they have something that they really want, they communicate that desire with their sibling. They know that this is how we do it in our family. Their siblings are the ones who gift things, whether that's handmade or a purchased item. So, for example, my daughter really wants a hard case for her fiddle. So she's been dreaming about it and talking talking about it with her brothers and sharing that this is what she really, really wants, because she knows that that gift will come from one of her brothers, not from my husband or I. We typically give one on one dates in nature or doing an activity that our birthday child loves. So this year, I'm gifting my daughter an overnight backpacking trip. Just the two of us. US, and again, together. We will plan all of the meals that we'll take, the snacks where we're going to go. She's going to be part of that process. But it is the gifting of that experience that is her gift. These experiences create lasting memories and provide valuable life lessons that no physical present could ever match. At the end of the day, what every child and human wants more than anything is to be seen, valued and unconditionally accepted. That is what I want to gift my children every single day, and especially on their birthday. I don't ever want a thing to distract from what matters most in life.

Now, I know many of you are thinking, well, this sounds great and all, but I don't want my child to feel like they don't fit in. We've talked about this a little bit, but I want to go deeper because this is an understandable concern and it is a thought process that takes time to break through. Living for ourselves means being honest about our limits and setting boundaries. You don't have to say yes to every extravagant request or event to fit in. As women and mothers, we have the power to define what fitting in looks like for our families. By honoring our boundaries, we teach our children the importance of authenticity and self care. The only time you are missing out in life is when you abandon yourself. Missing out is a relative feeling. So I invite you to redefine what missing out really means. Missing out or not fitting in doesn't exist when you are dead set committed to your family's values, because what other people are doing simply doesn't matter. You are so satisfied and content with what you have going on inside internally, that what is going on around you doesn't matter, you get to do you your way. And that is the ultimate fitting in. And when you start viewing life this way, your children will too. The only missing out or fitting in that you should be concerned about is fitting in. In your own life, in your own way. Not missing out on sabotaging yourself, your family's well being, by not living in alignment with your values. That is the only real missing out or not fitting in. It's internal. It's not external. Again, birthdays are just one aspect of life where people pleasing tendencies can manifest. However, the concept of living for ourselves extends to every facet of our lives. Embrace your individuality, whether it's in your parenting style, wellness practices, career choices or personal relationships. By staying true to yourself, you set the most beautiful, empowering example for your children and all of the people around. Unapologetic self acceptance is part of the bigger message I hope to share with you on this podcast.

If this feels far out of reach for you, a wonderful place to begin is Rebalancing your Gut bacteria. When your gut is balanced, you will experience more brain clarity, inspiration and overall internal contentment. Your sleep will be better, your hormones balanced, and it will become significantly easier to step into yourself, to show up with you unapologetically, to believe in you and make powerful day to day decisions that impact your family's overall well being. As we stop people pleasing and start living for ourselves, we discover the true essence of daily life and celebrate birthdays and life milestones 1s so gracefully and beautifully without the chaos, without all the extra noise. By defining our values and boundaries, creating soulful celebrations, and embracing our unique selves, we pave the way for meaningful connections and experiences. Remember, it's okay to be different. You have the power to choose to show up in life in a way that aligns with your values and beliefs. So let go of all that external pressure, celebrate and live your own authentic way, and inspire all the people around you to do the same simply by being a leader. Thanks so much for joining me today. I will be back next week.

Thank you for tuning in to today's episode of Follow Your Gut. As a reminder, the information shared on the show is not just for your children, but also for you. As a woman at Only Organics, I have created a line of the best quality gut balancing supplements and products that have transformed my family's health and happiness. Head to WW to start your journey to optimal gut health today. Lastly, I always want to be very transparent that I am not a medical professional and the information shared on this podcast is based on my personal experience and research. Please always listen to your own inner voice of wisdom and your healthcare professional. Join me again next week for more insights and inspiration on taking charge of your family's health and happiness. I'll see you then.

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